


Christmas Pickle and the God of Sweetness

by Sternflocken



Series: Welcome to the Odinsons [2]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor - Fandom
Genre: Chocolate, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Pickle, Domestic Fluff, Ficlet, Fluff and Humor, Frozen (2013) References, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Sharing Clothes, Slice of Life, Snow, Sweet Thor (Marvel), Thorki - Freeform, Thorkibaby, Thunderfrost - Freeform, Unplanned Pregnancy, Winter, better not invite groot when you've got a tree corpse in your livingroom, cause I needed names..., salty Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 21:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16920480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sternflocken/pseuds/Sternflocken
Summary: This wasn’t even planned. Nothing of it. But here they are, the glorious people of Asgard, stranded in a small, cold Midgardian country, where they actually are very much left alone, expect for occasional that’s-what-heroes-do-missions. All fine, because actually being close to Thor, and Thor still being in charge of caring for eight realms, was all he could wish for, but then they’ve been messing around with his shapeshifting – if you have presumably half an eternity together, you need to keep up the tension, right? And suddenly there was something that wasn’t so easily to be shifted away.And to crown it all Thor wants to celebrate Christmas. Loki is not amused about the over all situation and even less about dumb Midgardian frippery and any stupid tradition - unless it's worshipping the Norse Gods.





	Christmas Pickle and the God of Sweetness

**Author's Note:**

> Cause we all need some bit of fluff and of 'IW never happened' 'Endgame? What's this? Never heard of it' after this absolutely heartbreaking trailer, right?  
> (At least I do. Start crying everytime I see Thor so lost... no kidding it rips my heart right out and stomps on the scattered pieces...)  
> So let's pretend this never happened and they just built Asgard(ia) anew somewhere in Norway, shall we?^^
> 
> And happy, peaceful Holidays to all of you! <3

A freezing breeze blows through the generous house when Thor announces his returning by boisterously pushing the door open. Who needs an air trap if you’ve got huge stargazing windows making everything draughty? But it looks nice on the outside. Like red wood-panelled boxes, cobbled together under sharp gables, marveling the sea through wide, white-framed windows.

Not that Loki hadn’t already heard the rumbling of the old pickup’s motor and wheels crunching in fresh fallen snow and brakes and then the motor dying and then doors being slammed shut. Thor is so eager about driving this pile of junk. Loki prefers flashy fast and fancy sports cars like the ones of Tony Stark. They do help nothing in the Norwegian winter’s snow. But there’s a midnight black Tesla Roaster he lured from this Musk man at one of these overly fancy reception of Stark’s, waiting in their own garage for summer and long rides along bendy coasts. Still not quite the same as Asgard’s skiffs or Sakaaran spacecraft, but well enough for Midgard’s roads.  
“Are you back finally?! I’m hungry!” Loki demands when he’s stepping out of the cozy living room into the cold hallway, barefoot and dressed in a black shirt, stretching over his bulgy belly, and Thor’s running-pants. Every legwear of his own would not fit anymore and he refuses to get more of this hideous belly-covering insipidness then absolutely necessary to leave the house. He will, with absolute certainty, never be in a state like this ever again anyway. 

Loki doesn’t care for the chilly floor and the icy breeze. The cold doesn’t bother him anyway. He also doesn’t mind helping Thor, who’s stomping snow off his boots while trying to balance a bunch of too fully packed shopping bags. So Thor walks on, into the kitchen, followed by Loki, who’s carefully tiptoeing around the muddy puddles he leaves. “Oh great and now you’re messing everything up and – don’t you dare stepping on the carpet! We don’t have maids anymore, cleaning up behind your mess and what’s all this stuff anyway, I just wanted food…” he continues his clamoring, peering curiously into the first bag Thor puts down on the counter. Not food. Definitely not food.  
“It’s Christmas stuff!” Thor explains beaming sheepishly. Loki only offers a puzzled look in exchange for this gleeful expression on Thor’s face. His cheeks are still rosy from the freezing wind outside and there are a few solitary snowflakes clinging to his full grown beard. Rubbing his stiff frozen hands he places a kiss on Loki’s forehead while passing him to finally faithfully dismiss his boots and coat.

“I beg your pardon?” Loki presses, when apparently Thor doesn’t care about giving any further explanation.  
“Christmas… you know… the Midgardians celebrate this huge festival of love and they decorate everything and the whole town already is bedecked with lights and all kind of fluffy stuff and – Loki you saw this before!” Thor babbles quickly but smiling, rolling his eyes. They’re here for several years now, of course Loki does know what Christmas means.  
“But we never had that stuff in our house.” With wary eyes he watches Thor stomping back past him, rolling up the sleeves of his lumberjack shirt and beginning to unpack.  
“We have now. Look. It’s all red. And green. And golden… almost like in the old days…” Thor’s face is near to sparkling with joy while he proudly shows Loki packs of red Christmas balls and candy cones and fizzy golden garlands and glitter-snowy fake branches and little pendants with stars and angels and rocking horses and sleights and reindeers and what not.  
“No it’s not. It’s dumb Midgardian frippery and I don’t want that in my house! Give me food already!” Impatiently he peeks into another bag and finally spots what he was looking for, grabbing the desired jar before Thor can even dare putting it away, quickly opening it and stuffing the first pickle into his mouth.  
“And I also got a… what’s it called? These kind of needly evergreen tree things, it’s outside on the truck. They’re put up in the living room and then you decorate it with all these precious things and you sit together on Christmas Eve, with the family and-“  
“Stop talking. I don’t want a tree in my living room! Trees are for outside!” Loki rants on, next getting hold of a bar of chocolate. “You’ve been with Stark and Potts and the Spiderkid too long again?”  
“Oh, better don’t let Groot hear that.” Thor mutters. “And you know we need to integrate… think of the child. It will need Midgardian friends-“

“There are Asgardian kids around here,” Loki interrupts cocky, still warily eyeing Thor, who is stowing the groceries. Most of it is food after all, much to Loki’s relief. “Groot, by the way, won’t be too fond of finding a tree corpse in our living room and we don’t need that kind of stuff,” he goes on nonetheless. “And I’m very curious to see you explaining any Midgardian school or family how THIS kid even came to exists and is born without a mother, but therefore by your assumed brother who not so long ago tried to conquer their planet! They haven’t forgotten about that. Gonna be so much fun.”  
“Oh I would not worry too much,” Thor shrugs off Loki’s concerns, mildly smiling. He’s witnessed too many of Loki’s rants to lose his joyful mood over them. Instead he’s handing Loki one of the snack salami sticks before putting the pack into the fridge. “Midgardians are very accepting of such things nowadays. You know, Christmas is actually about a homeless family on their search for shelter and a virgin giving birth to the son of a God – well I guess we never met this one before, but if it works for them… I do guess Midgardians actually love wondrous God-Babies. So why not celebrate the holiday of their God-Baby and of love and peace and happiness?” Thor beams at Loki like he just held his best, highly convincing speech on the happiest occasion imaginable. Loki is just raising an eyebrow. Did Thor just compare him to a virgin? “Come on! You will love it! And they will love you even more with a baby. Everything’s better with a baby! And for Christmas we could also invite Brunnhilde and the Olafsons from that supermarket in the village. You know, their children are always playing around the coast here and Kristoff told me Anna is also pregnant again,” Thor suggests, with a still eager and expectant smile. Loki just skeptically munches on a pickle again, while Thor goes on babbling about Wanda and Vision and their actually pretty impossible kids and about how Heimdall and Stephen probably won’t be able to leave the Sanctorum, not even for Christmas but how nice it would be for all their “friends with kids” to meet…

“I think I’m gonna throw up…” Loki winces, finally stopping Thor midsentence and earning an instantly worried look. “No! No… everything’s fine…” He allays, rolling his eyes. “Except for that back pain and swollen feet and the fact I’m carrying a fucking monsterbaby inside of me, that’s metabolizing anything I eat before I even stop feeling hungry so it can just go on growing like hell and tear me apart and no one knows when this will be over and I – DO – NOT – WANT – STUPID – MIDGARDIAN - TRADITIONS!”, he’s back to snarling, then adding swiftly: “Unless they’re worshipping us.” 

This wasn’t even planned. Nothing of it. But here they are, the glorious people of Asgard, stranded in a small, cold Midgardian country, where they actually are very much left alone, expect for occasional that’s-what-heroes-do-missions. All fine, because actually being close to Thor, and Thor still being in charge of caring for eight realms, was all he could wish for, but then they’ve been messing around with his shapeshifting – if you have presumably half an eternity together, you need to keep up the tension, right? And suddenly there had been something that wasn’t so easily to be shifted away.  
“You know… they’ve got all kinds of sweets now, too…” Thor goes on, just a slightly little more cautious, ostentatiously not unpacking the last bag. “But I guess I’ll bring everything back then…”  
Looking from Thor to the bag, Loki so very well knows this is a trap and he already can feel his belly and it’s voracious inhabitant stabbing him in the back. “Fine. Put it back then,” he hisses, seemingly unwavering. 

“Okay… fine…” Thor sighs way too wistful. “Farewell sweet gingerbread… farewell delicious Baumkuchen… farewell tasty Dutch windmill cookies… farewell dainty cinnamon bun ice cream…” Thor abandons the overstuffed shopping bag, now looking at Loki only while he’s decreasing the distance between them with every word, “Farewell delicate dominoes… farewell luscious vanilla crescents…“ Finally placing his hands on Loki’s hips, he carefully pulls him closer. “There’s also this tradition of hanging a pickle in the tree and whoever spots it first will get the first present… but you know, if you don’t want it, we don’t need to have it. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, my precious Prince, and I love you much more than every feast of love and food…” he states matter-of-factly but smiling brightly again, his face just centimeters from his sulky beloved and the warmth of his body so comforting. Loki doesn’t mind the cold but that doesn’t mean he’s not longing for the contrary. Like Thor’s embraces, keeping him save and warm and comfortable and home, smelling so familiar like wood and leather and steel, like snow and the salt of sea breeze outside, like the palace of Asgard and the supermarket of this dull little village, like fierce fights and lustful nights…  
“I… know…” Loki grunts, clutching to his pickle jar.  
“And?” Thor asks, placing a kiss on Loki’s lips.  
“And I love you, too…”  
“And?” Another kiss.  
“And also the little one,” Loki sighs yielding, finally leaning in Thor’s caressing and then he suddenly stops, his eyes widening. “Thor! The baby-“  
“What? It’s coming?!”  
“No, you dumb Oaf! It’s moving! It’s moving, feel, here!” He quickly takes Thor’s hand and presses it to his belly. Excited he watches Thor’s face lighten up even more, while he feels this little creature kick again, right where he can also feel Thor’s warm touch. Just for a moment before something different craves his attention, now left unguarded, and he steals away the first tawdry glittering pack he can get his hands on, turning away quickly with his prey, already ripping the carton open. Before Thor even notices what’s going on, Loki’s munching on some chocolate covered gingerbread, mischievously grinning while tripping his way back to the books he left behind beside the fireplace. “With our sincere thanks, my generous King,” he calls from his fort, leaving Thor dumbstruck but smiling while shaking his head and proceeding to unpack.

“So you’ve got what you wanted now, puny parasite!”, Loki mutters, tenderly stroking his belly, “And I swear to you, as soon as you’re finally out there your Dad will so be on feeding duty for at least a year straight!”

**Author's Note:**

> …to the fireplace, where he waits for Thor to join him. And where they will surely spend a very lovely Christmas. If Loki ever looks up from his books. The whole living room is piled to the ceiling cause he’s got a lot to learn about Midgardians and especially their mythology and fairytales. 
> 
> I guess they have completely different approaches when it comes to learning about Midgardians and pretty much disagree about how they’re supposed to integrate^^’’
> 
> “We should be the ones ruling them! Not integrating to their primitively low form of miserable existence…”  
> “Loki, we talked about that…  
> “Yes. It didn’t change my point.”
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, does anyone know typical Norwegian Christmas food? I only know German stuff…and, btw, the Christmas Pickle is not a German tradition. We don’t do this xD
> 
>  
> 
> And, aaand guys just imagine this (my head does not shut up sorry):  
> Brunnhilde coming over on Christmas Eve. Cause where else should she be? Got nothing to do. And she’s bringing her girlfriend for the first time. And she introduces them like: “Guys, this is Elsa. Elsa, this is Thor, King of Asgard but never mind, he’s actually just a big Oaf, and Loki, his boyfriendbrother-“  
> “It’s Loki, Prince of Asgard, Odinson, the rightful King of Jotunheim, God of Mischief-” he interferes, not caring to hide how annoyed he’s over guests and her introduction and everything and Brunnhilde just goes on like: “Never mind his nagging, he’s not fat, this is pregnant.”  
> And Elsa’s looking at him with full force pity, saying, “Oh, I’m so sorry!”  
> And Loki’s like totally startled someone for once since he’s growing this monster in his belly is not either disgusted or totally confused or even worse, congratulating him but getting how it actually feels like. And he’s just like “Yeah… never mind… I hope Thor is done with dinner soon or I’ll starve.”  
> And then later that evening they somehow get caught in a heated but highly sophisticated discussion about the human society and what Mary’s little lamb gotta do with Japanese Kabuki and Star Wars and what that is telling about the rule-ability of humans. Thor and Brunnhilde lost track a long time ago, just drinking their ignored asses away until they decide to check out who’s stronger by fighting each other and smashing half of Norway into pieces by doing so.  
> Good thing Thor and Loki live that far out of town…
> 
>  
> 
> And when the baby is there Brunnhilde is made godmother and Elsa will be like “Ew… what is it doing? Get it away from me!!” about everything and Loki will be just shrugging like “I have no idea…” cause Thor will be the only one who’s actually good with children (though Loki of course loves the child and cares for it, too, he’s just not so overly excited and excessively affectionate as Thor is… you know just like… Thor is the cool daddy who throws the baby up in the air and spends hours building Lego castles and plans great adventure trips and brags about his absolutely gorgeous child everywhere he goes and Loki’s the one sitting by her bed half of the night, soothing her to sleep and the one who watches her as she discovers the gardens or admires her paintings she does all by herself while he is reading beside her and the one reading fairytales and the one letting her take part in every day stuff, even if he says it’s annoying).  
> Later on, Brunnhilde will teach the child all kinds of (un)necessary stuff...
> 
> There also already is the idea of this baby's conception but I guess I won't come to write it down cause writing takes me a lot of time and I want to start this advanced training at work and that will keep me pretty busy for at least seven months...
> 
> \--
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> And if you find mistakes, please tell me so I can correct them^^


End file.
